Mandala of Love
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  • Meditation
    • Summaries of these Articles
    • ‘Meditation’ April 2017
      • A ‘Mandala of Love’ approach to Meditation
      • Self-Inquiry – Familiarising ourselves with Consciousness
      • The Content of the Mind is Not Important
      • Non-Duality – Buddha, Jesus, and Plato
      • Objectivity – Meditation and Thinking
    • ‘Meditation’ May-Jun 2017
      • René Descartes’ Error
      • Mindfulness – The Buddha’s ‘Remembering’ practice
      • Egoic consciousness – Divided against itself
      • Nurturing an Authentic Self
      • The Four Brahmavihāras – Four Attitudes of Consciousness
      • Mettā – Consciousness as Loving-Kindness
      • The Ethical and Relational Nature of Consciousness
      • The Brahmavihāras – the Soul’s Moral Compass
    • ‘Meditation’ Jul-Aug 2017
      • Upekṣā – Equanimity – Touching the Cosmic Stillness
      • Resting the Mental Body in the Field of Consciousness
      • The Mirror of Consciousness and the Mirror of Narcissism
      • The Hara – the Mysterious Second Chakra
      • The ‘Hell Realms’ – Inner Victims and Inner Persecutors
      • Muditā – Sympathetic Joy – A Sense of Wonder
    • ‘Meditation’ Sept-Oct 2017
      • Sympathetic Joy – an Attitude and an Energetic State
      • Zen and the Art of Human Life
      • Zazen – Just Sitting – Resting as Consciousness
      • Plato’s Cave Revisited
      • The Yin and Yang of Embodied Consciousness
    • ‘Meditation’ Nov-Dec 2017
      • Feeling – The Discernment of Goodness, Value and Beauty
      • Mettā – Living as Love and Contentment
      • Mettā – Healing the Egoic Shadow of Love
      • The Preta Realm – Deprivation, Despair, and Addiction
    • ‘Meditation’ Jan-Apr 2018
      • Flowing with the Currents of Feeling – Psychological Parts
      • Mettā – Being Unconditionally Present with Feeling
      • Empathy and Self-Empathy – Communication and Self-Enquiry
      • Feminine and Masculine – Energy and Presence
    • ‘Meditation’ May-Aug 2018
      • The Yin and Yang of Love and Compassion
      • The Asura Realm – Intuition and the Egoic Will
      • The Mandala and the Stupa
      • The Somatic Anatomy of the Energy Bodies
      • The Mandala of the Four Brahmavihāras
    • ‘Meditation’ Sept-Oct 2018
      • Consciousness, Meditation and the Four Qualia
      • The Beneficial Life Energy of Needs
      • Life Energies of Presence and Connection
    • ‘Meditation’ Nov-Dec 2018
      • Compassion and the All-Accomplishing Wisdom
    • ‘Meditation’ 2019 Jan-Oct
      • The Dharmadhātu Wisdom
      • Akashadhateshvari – Luminous Space
    • Meditation Guidance Overview
      • A Mandala Framework for Meditation and Self-Enquiry
      • Resting as Consciousness
  • 5 Wisdoms
    • Summaries of these Articles
    • Skandhas Intro
      • The Dharmadhātu Wisdom
      • Akashadhateshvari / White Tara – Luminous Space
      • The Five Skandhas – Dakini Wisdom
      • The Five Skandhas – the Cognitive-Perceptual Components
    • Rūpa Skandha
      • Part 1: Thinking and Wisdom
      • Part 2: The Mirror-Like Wisdom
      • Part 3: The Body
    • Vedanā Skandha
    • Samjñā Skandha
    • Samskāras Skandha
    • Vijñāna Skandha
  • 10 Buddhas
    • Summaries of these Articles
    • Padmasambhava’s Inspiration-Prayer
    • 10 Buddhas – Introduction
      • Part 1: Three Yānas / Three Myths
      • Part 2: Ten Dharmic Principles
      • Part 3: Resting as Consciousness
      • Part 4: Integration and Positive Emotion
    • 10 Buddhas – Integration
      • Part 5: Pandaravārsini
      • Part 6: Vajrasattva-Akshobya
      • Part 7: The Somatic Body-Mind
      • Part 8: Māmaki
    • 10 Buddhas – Positive Emotion
    • 10 Buddhas – Spiritual Death
    • 10 Buddhas – Spiritual Rebirth
  • Buddhism
    • Summaries of these Articles
    • Hui Neng and the Mirror-Like Wisdom – A Zen Story
    • ‘Meditation’ Series Overview
      • A Mandala Framework for Meditation and Self-Enquiry
      • Resting as Consciousness
    • Padmasambhava’s Inspiration-Prayer
  • NVC/Focusing
    • Buddhism and Focusing
      • Part 1 – Eugene Gendlin’s ‘Clear Space’ and the Brahmavihāras
    • Nonviolent Communication (NVC) – Mandala Wisdom
    • Mandala Innerwork and NVC Self-Empathy
    • NVC/Focusing-related articles in other categories
      • Summaries of these articles
      • Feeling – The Discernment of Goodness, Value and Beauty
      • Empathy and Self-Empathy – Communication and Self-Enquiry
      • The Asura Realm – Intuition and the Egoic Will
  • Jung/MBTI
  • Book
    • William Blake’s ‘Jerusalem’
    • Introduction to the Mandala of Love book blog
    • The Cross and the Mandala
    • Carl Jung’s Psychology of the Archetypes
    • The Mandala as the Landscape of the Soul
    • Buddhas and Bodhisattvas – Archetypes of Consciousness
    • Jung’s Phenomenology of the Soul
    • Egoic Consciousness and its Shadow
  • Home
  • Meditation
    • Summaries of these Articles
    • ‘Meditation’ April 2017
      • A ‘Mandala of Love’ approach to Meditation
      • Self-Inquiry – Familiarising ourselves with Consciousness
      • The Content of the Mind is Not Important
      • Non-Duality – Buddha, Jesus, and Plato
      • Objectivity – Meditation and Thinking
    • ‘Meditation’ May-Jun 2017
      • René Descartes’ Error
      • Mindfulness – The Buddha’s ‘Remembering’ practice
      • Egoic consciousness – Divided against itself
      • Nurturing an Authentic Self
      • The Four Brahmavihāras – Four Attitudes of Consciousness
      • Mettā – Consciousness as Loving-Kindness
      • The Ethical and Relational Nature of Consciousness
      • The Brahmavihāras – the Soul’s Moral Compass
    • ‘Meditation’ Jul-Aug 2017
      • Upekṣā – Equanimity – Touching the Cosmic Stillness
      • Resting the Mental Body in the Field of Consciousness
      • The Mirror of Consciousness and the Mirror of Narcissism
      • The Hara – the Mysterious Second Chakra
      • The ‘Hell Realms’ – Inner Victims and Inner Persecutors
      • Muditā – Sympathetic Joy – A Sense of Wonder
    • ‘Meditation’ Sept-Oct 2017
      • Sympathetic Joy – an Attitude and an Energetic State
      • Zen and the Art of Human Life
      • Zazen – Just Sitting – Resting as Consciousness
      • Plato’s Cave Revisited
      • The Yin and Yang of Embodied Consciousness
    • ‘Meditation’ Nov-Dec 2017
      • Feeling – The Discernment of Goodness, Value and Beauty
      • Mettā – Living as Love and Contentment
      • Mettā – Healing the Egoic Shadow of Love
      • The Preta Realm – Deprivation, Despair, and Addiction
    • ‘Meditation’ Jan-Apr 2018
      • Flowing with the Currents of Feeling – Psychological Parts
      • Mettā – Being Unconditionally Present with Feeling
      • Empathy and Self-Empathy – Communication and Self-Enquiry
      • Feminine and Masculine – Energy and Presence
    • ‘Meditation’ May-Aug 2018
      • The Yin and Yang of Love and Compassion
      • The Asura Realm – Intuition and the Egoic Will
      • The Mandala and the Stupa
      • The Somatic Anatomy of the Energy Bodies
      • The Mandala of the Four Brahmavihāras
    • ‘Meditation’ Sept-Oct 2018
      • Consciousness, Meditation and the Four Qualia
      • The Beneficial Life Energy of Needs
      • Life Energies of Presence and Connection
    • ‘Meditation’ Nov-Dec 2018
      • Compassion and the All-Accomplishing Wisdom
    • ‘Meditation’ 2019 Jan-Oct
      • The Dharmadhātu Wisdom
      • Akashadhateshvari – Luminous Space
    • Meditation Guidance Overview
      • A Mandala Framework for Meditation and Self-Enquiry
      • Resting as Consciousness
  • 5 Wisdoms
    • Summaries of these Articles
    • Skandhas Intro
      • The Dharmadhātu Wisdom
      • Akashadhateshvari / White Tara – Luminous Space
      • The Five Skandhas – Dakini Wisdom
      • The Five Skandhas – the Cognitive-Perceptual Components
    • Rūpa Skandha
      • Part 1: Thinking and Wisdom
      • Part 2: The Mirror-Like Wisdom
      • Part 3: The Body
    • Vedanā Skandha
    • Samjñā Skandha
    • Samskāras Skandha
    • Vijñāna Skandha
  • 10 Buddhas
    • Summaries of these Articles
    • Padmasambhava’s Inspiration-Prayer
    • 10 Buddhas – Introduction
      • Part 1: Three Yānas / Three Myths
      • Part 2: Ten Dharmic Principles
      • Part 3: Resting as Consciousness
      • Part 4: Integration and Positive Emotion
    • 10 Buddhas – Integration
      • Part 5: Pandaravārsini
      • Part 6: Vajrasattva-Akshobya
      • Part 7: The Somatic Body-Mind
      • Part 8: Māmaki
    • 10 Buddhas – Positive Emotion
    • 10 Buddhas – Spiritual Death
    • 10 Buddhas – Spiritual Rebirth
  • Buddhism
    • Summaries of these Articles
    • Hui Neng and the Mirror-Like Wisdom – A Zen Story
    • ‘Meditation’ Series Overview
      • A Mandala Framework for Meditation and Self-Enquiry
      • Resting as Consciousness
    • Padmasambhava’s Inspiration-Prayer
  • NVC/Focusing
    • Buddhism and Focusing
      • Part 1 – Eugene Gendlin’s ‘Clear Space’ and the Brahmavihāras
    • Nonviolent Communication (NVC) – Mandala Wisdom
    • Mandala Innerwork and NVC Self-Empathy
    • NVC/Focusing-related articles in other categories
      • Summaries of these articles
      • Feeling – The Discernment of Goodness, Value and Beauty
      • Empathy and Self-Empathy – Communication and Self-Enquiry
      • The Asura Realm – Intuition and the Egoic Will
  • Jung/MBTI
  • Book
    • William Blake’s ‘Jerusalem’
    • Introduction to the Mandala of Love book blog
    • The Cross and the Mandala
    • Carl Jung’s Psychology of the Archetypes
    • The Mandala as the Landscape of the Soul
    • Buddhas and Bodhisattvas – Archetypes of Consciousness
    • Jung’s Phenomenology of the Soul
    • Egoic Consciousness and its Shadow
Mandala of Love
  • Home
  • Meditation
    • Summaries of these Articles
    • ‘Meditation’ April 2017
      • A ‘Mandala of Love’ approach to Meditation
      • Self-Inquiry – Familiarising ourselves with Consciousness
      • The Content of the Mind is Not Important
      • Non-Duality – Buddha, Jesus, and Plato
      • Objectivity – Meditation and Thinking
    • ‘Meditation’ May-Jun 2017
      • René Descartes’ Error
      • Mindfulness – The Buddha’s ‘Remembering’ practice
      • Egoic consciousness – Divided against itself
      • Nurturing an Authentic Self
      • The Four Brahmavihāras – Four Attitudes of Consciousness
      • Mettā – Consciousness as Loving-Kindness
      • The Ethical and Relational Nature of Consciousness
      • The Brahmavihāras – the Soul’s Moral Compass
    • ‘Meditation’ Jul-Aug 2017
      • Upekṣā – Equanimity – Touching the Cosmic Stillness
      • Resting the Mental Body in the Field of Consciousness
      • The Mirror of Consciousness and the Mirror of Narcissism
      • The Hara – the Mysterious Second Chakra
      • The ‘Hell Realms’ – Inner Victims and Inner Persecutors
      • Muditā – Sympathetic Joy – A Sense of Wonder
    • ‘Meditation’ Sept-Oct 2017
      • Sympathetic Joy – an Attitude and an Energetic State
      • Zen and the Art of Human Life
      • Zazen – Just Sitting – Resting as Consciousness
      • Plato’s Cave Revisited
      • The Yin and Yang of Embodied Consciousness
    • ‘Meditation’ Nov-Dec 2017
      • Feeling – The Discernment of Goodness, Value and Beauty
      • Mettā – Living as Love and Contentment
      • Mettā – Healing the Egoic Shadow of Love
      • The Preta Realm – Deprivation, Despair, and Addiction
    • ‘Meditation’ Jan-Apr 2018
      • Flowing with the Currents of Feeling – Psychological Parts
      • Mettā – Being Unconditionally Present with Feeling
      • Empathy and Self-Empathy – Communication and Self-Enquiry
      • Feminine and Masculine – Energy and Presence
    • ‘Meditation’ May-Aug 2018
      • The Yin and Yang of Love and Compassion
      • The Asura Realm – Intuition and the Egoic Will
      • The Mandala and the Stupa
      • The Somatic Anatomy of the Energy Bodies
      • The Mandala of the Four Brahmavihāras
    • ‘Meditation’ Sept-Oct 2018
      • Consciousness, Meditation and the Four Qualia
      • The Beneficial Life Energy of Needs
      • Life Energies of Presence and Connection
    • ‘Meditation’ Nov-Dec 2018
      • Compassion and the All-Accomplishing Wisdom
    • ‘Meditation’ 2019 Jan-Oct
      • The Dharmadhātu Wisdom
      • Akashadhateshvari – Luminous Space
    • Meditation Guidance Overview
      • A Mandala Framework for Meditation and Self-Enquiry
      • Resting as Consciousness
  • 5 Wisdoms
    • Summaries of these Articles
    • Skandhas Intro
      • The Dharmadhātu Wisdom
      • Akashadhateshvari / White Tara – Luminous Space
      • The Five Skandhas – Dakini Wisdom
      • The Five Skandhas – the Cognitive-Perceptual Components
    • Rūpa Skandha
      • Part 1: Thinking and Wisdom
      • Part 2: The Mirror-Like Wisdom
      • Part 3: The Body
    • Vedanā Skandha
    • Samjñā Skandha
    • Samskāras Skandha
    • Vijñāna Skandha
  • 10 Buddhas
    • Summaries of these Articles
    • Padmasambhava’s Inspiration-Prayer
    • 10 Buddhas – Introduction
      • Part 1: Three Yānas / Three Myths
      • Part 2: Ten Dharmic Principles
      • Part 3: Resting as Consciousness
      • Part 4: Integration and Positive Emotion
    • 10 Buddhas – Integration
      • Part 5: Pandaravārsini
      • Part 6: Vajrasattva-Akshobya
      • Part 7: The Somatic Body-Mind
      • Part 8: Māmaki
    • 10 Buddhas – Positive Emotion
    • 10 Buddhas – Spiritual Death
    • 10 Buddhas – Spiritual Rebirth
  • Buddhism
    • Summaries of these Articles
    • Hui Neng and the Mirror-Like Wisdom – A Zen Story
    • ‘Meditation’ Series Overview
      • A Mandala Framework for Meditation and Self-Enquiry
      • Resting as Consciousness
    • Padmasambhava’s Inspiration-Prayer
  • NVC/Focusing
    • Buddhism and Focusing
      • Part 1 – Eugene Gendlin’s ‘Clear Space’ and the Brahmavihāras
    • Nonviolent Communication (NVC) – Mandala Wisdom
    • Mandala Innerwork and NVC Self-Empathy
    • NVC/Focusing-related articles in other categories
      • Summaries of these articles
      • Feeling – The Discernment of Goodness, Value and Beauty
      • Empathy and Self-Empathy – Communication and Self-Enquiry
      • The Asura Realm – Intuition and the Egoic Will
  • Jung/MBTI
  • Book
    • William Blake’s ‘Jerusalem’
    • Introduction to the Mandala of Love book blog
    • The Cross and the Mandala
    • Carl Jung’s Psychology of the Archetypes
    • The Mandala as the Landscape of the Soul
    • Buddhas and Bodhisattvas – Archetypes of Consciousness
    • Jung’s Phenomenology of the Soul
    • Egoic Consciousness and its Shadow
  • Home
  • Meditation
    • Summaries of these Articles
    • ‘Meditation’ April 2017
      • A ‘Mandala of Love’ approach to Meditation
      • Self-Inquiry – Familiarising ourselves with Consciousness
      • The Content of the Mind is Not Important
      • Non-Duality – Buddha, Jesus, and Plato
      • Objectivity – Meditation and Thinking
    • ‘Meditation’ May-Jun 2017
      • René Descartes’ Error
      • Mindfulness – The Buddha’s ‘Remembering’ practice
      • Egoic consciousness – Divided against itself
      • Nurturing an Authentic Self
      • The Four Brahmavihāras – Four Attitudes of Consciousness
      • Mettā – Consciousness as Loving-Kindness
      • The Ethical and Relational Nature of Consciousness
      • The Brahmavihāras – the Soul’s Moral Compass
    • ‘Meditation’ Jul-Aug 2017
      • Upekṣā – Equanimity – Touching the Cosmic Stillness
      • Resting the Mental Body in the Field of Consciousness
      • The Mirror of Consciousness and the Mirror of Narcissism
      • The Hara – the Mysterious Second Chakra
      • The ‘Hell Realms’ – Inner Victims and Inner Persecutors
      • Muditā – Sympathetic Joy – A Sense of Wonder
    • ‘Meditation’ Sept-Oct 2017
      • Sympathetic Joy – an Attitude and an Energetic State
      • Zen and the Art of Human Life
      • Zazen – Just Sitting – Resting as Consciousness
      • Plato’s Cave Revisited
      • The Yin and Yang of Embodied Consciousness
    • ‘Meditation’ Nov-Dec 2017
      • Feeling – The Discernment of Goodness, Value and Beauty
      • Mettā – Living as Love and Contentment
      • Mettā – Healing the Egoic Shadow of Love
      • The Preta Realm – Deprivation, Despair, and Addiction
    • ‘Meditation’ Jan-Apr 2018
      • Flowing with the Currents of Feeling – Psychological Parts
      • Mettā – Being Unconditionally Present with Feeling
      • Empathy and Self-Empathy – Communication and Self-Enquiry
      • Feminine and Masculine – Energy and Presence
    • ‘Meditation’ May-Aug 2018
      • The Yin and Yang of Love and Compassion
      • The Asura Realm – Intuition and the Egoic Will
      • The Mandala and the Stupa
      • The Somatic Anatomy of the Energy Bodies
      • The Mandala of the Four Brahmavihāras
    • ‘Meditation’ Sept-Oct 2018
      • Consciousness, Meditation and the Four Qualia
      • The Beneficial Life Energy of Needs
      • Life Energies of Presence and Connection
    • ‘Meditation’ Nov-Dec 2018
      • Compassion and the All-Accomplishing Wisdom
    • ‘Meditation’ 2019 Jan-Oct
      • The Dharmadhātu Wisdom
      • Akashadhateshvari – Luminous Space
    • Meditation Guidance Overview
      • A Mandala Framework for Meditation and Self-Enquiry
      • Resting as Consciousness
  • 5 Wisdoms
    • Summaries of these Articles
    • Skandhas Intro
      • The Dharmadhātu Wisdom
      • Akashadhateshvari / White Tara – Luminous Space
      • The Five Skandhas – Dakini Wisdom
      • The Five Skandhas – the Cognitive-Perceptual Components
    • Rūpa Skandha
      • Part 1: Thinking and Wisdom
      • Part 2: The Mirror-Like Wisdom
      • Part 3: The Body
    • Vedanā Skandha
    • Samjñā Skandha
    • Samskāras Skandha
    • Vijñāna Skandha
  • 10 Buddhas
    • Summaries of these Articles
    • Padmasambhava’s Inspiration-Prayer
    • 10 Buddhas – Introduction
      • Part 1: Three Yānas / Three Myths
      • Part 2: Ten Dharmic Principles
      • Part 3: Resting as Consciousness
      • Part 4: Integration and Positive Emotion
    • 10 Buddhas – Integration
      • Part 5: Pandaravārsini
      • Part 6: Vajrasattva-Akshobya
      • Part 7: The Somatic Body-Mind
      • Part 8: Māmaki
    • 10 Buddhas – Positive Emotion
    • 10 Buddhas – Spiritual Death
    • 10 Buddhas – Spiritual Rebirth
  • Buddhism
    • Summaries of these Articles
    • Hui Neng and the Mirror-Like Wisdom – A Zen Story
    • ‘Meditation’ Series Overview
      • A Mandala Framework for Meditation and Self-Enquiry
      • Resting as Consciousness
    • Padmasambhava’s Inspiration-Prayer
  • NVC/Focusing
    • Buddhism and Focusing
      • Part 1 – Eugene Gendlin’s ‘Clear Space’ and the Brahmavihāras
    • Nonviolent Communication (NVC) – Mandala Wisdom
    • Mandala Innerwork and NVC Self-Empathy
    • NVC/Focusing-related articles in other categories
      • Summaries of these articles
      • Feeling – The Discernment of Goodness, Value and Beauty
      • Empathy and Self-Empathy – Communication and Self-Enquiry
      • The Asura Realm – Intuition and the Egoic Will
  • Jung/MBTI
  • Book
    • William Blake’s ‘Jerusalem’
    • Introduction to the Mandala of Love book blog
    • The Cross and the Mandala
    • Carl Jung’s Psychology of the Archetypes
    • The Mandala as the Landscape of the Soul
    • Buddhas and Bodhisattvas – Archetypes of Consciousness
    • Jung’s Phenomenology of the Soul
    • Egoic Consciousness and its Shadow

#DonaldWinnicott

Nurturing an Authentic Self

MeditationThis is Post 9 in the ‘Meditation Guidance’ series. Summaries of the other articles in this series can be found here.

Having reflected on the insubstantiality of the egoic parts, I need, in this meditation blog series, to balance that understanding by at least touching on some other helpful concepts in regard to the tricky and paradoxical question of what it is to have, or be, or become, a ‘self’ – one that is perhaps more affirmative. The nature of the human self and the processes by which it develops, or fails to develop, have challenged Psychology since its inception, and challenged our philosophers and spiritual thinkers for very much longer. Donald Winnicott, an innovative British psychoanalyst and writer, who had a passionate interest in the subtle role that parents, and especially mothers, play in the evolution of a child’s sense of self, put it this way:

“Every man or woman who is sane, every man or woman who has the feeling of being a person in the world, and for whom the world means something, every happy person, is in infinite debt to a woman.”

Donald Winnicott, Psychoanalyst and Writer

The largely unrecognised value, of the complex and powerful way in which a mother provides a mirror for her child’s emerging self, and provides a ‘facilitating environment’ through the mother-child bond, was the subject of Winnicott’s life’s work. He was not alone among the psychoanalytic thinkers in this. Jung, as always in my view, went further, recognising that the mother is ultimately an archetypal figure, and that the personal mother constellates the archetypal power of the Mother archetype in her relationship with the child. Characteristically, Jung also recognised that the mother archetype has two sides – that it includes a dark side that may stand in the way of spiritual maturity.

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May 19, 2017
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